Rant Spike

The Rant knew that at some point during the pandemic someone would craft the perfect COVID humblebrag. So imagine our excitement when this showed up in the old Twitter feed: Hey, just wanted to let everyone know I found out … Continued

Parallel Duck

If a duck can look forlorn, the female waddling at the corner of my street appeared so. I recognized her from the park a few blocks over. She and her mate, with a fabulous green head, show up each spring … Continued

Flattening the Rant

The Rant needs to say what everyone is thinking: if you are involved in the paper-folding arts, and you use more than one piece of paper for your creation, you are not doing origami; if you cut the paper with … Continued


The Rant has emerged from our self-imposed exile inside a vat of Purell. We briefly considered checking in at the spa for the new tanning bed/Lysol cleanse (with a free coupon to the ICU of your choice!) but decided to … Continued

Pandemic Wisdom

A toilet paper roll in the hand is worth the five-hundred the clerk swears is arriving in the next delivery. The President has not come to praise America but to bury it. Measure twice, wash your hands sixty-seven times. Early … Continued

Rock Solid Art

The greatest art installation in America currently resides on a telephone pole a couple of blocks from my house. I discovered it on one of those long, aimless walks we all take now. Dogs have learned that what they believed … Continued

Pandemic Definitions

Social Distancing: Crossing to the other side of the street when approached by anyone, instead of just black or brown people. Toilet Paper: A mythical object once believed to exist in plenty, but hunted to extinction like the carrier pigeon. Sober: The … Continued

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Pandemic

I Wallace Stevens published the poem “Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird” in 1917. The poem references Connecticut, where Stevens would hunker down as an insurance executive for the rest of his life, handling lawsuits from rejected claims. What … Continued

The Solace of Syrup

I  have need of pancakes, which is to say I have need of a Syrup Delivery System. Not even the Village Inn can botch a short stack, so I head up the street to the one near my house. Carbs … Continued

Rant Delivery

The Rant has a small sample size, but here in Tulsa at the worldwide headquarters, the new Amazon delivery kids seem to really be scrapping. One of our favorite pastimes is following a truck as it wanders helplessly around the … Continued