Pass the Rant

The Rant received an email from God. The subject line informed us that Jesus Smoked Weed. The gist was the Lord wanted us to go thou and do likewise. So many questions. First, doesn’t God seem like more of an … Continued

Rant Queries

The Rant wonders if we could just rename the iPhone the Narcissism Machine. The slo-motion selfie, or slofie, as Apple insists you say as they desperately work to trademark the term, brings self-absorption to dizzying new levels. Hailed as utter … Continued

Rant Squared

The Rant has often proclaimed our appreciation for music all along the edges, from indie rock to Americana to D’Angelo’s abs, we mean his neo soul brown sugar. The Rant can hang with almost any hipster music crowd. But when … Continued

Back Inventory Rant

The Rant apologizes for the long absence; we’ve been waiting in line for a Popeye’s chicken sandwich. Imagine our disappointment when the line got within sight of the building and were informed the sandwich was no more. But The Rant … Continued

This the Rant, Greg

The Rant would like to have a heart-to-heart. First, no matter how you bedazzle, bejewel, or bling that thing, a fanny pack is still a fanny pack. You look like an old man from Boca that just finished looking for … Continued


The Rant recently imagined we had created an analysis of hipsterdom that could be mapped like a Nate Silver electoral projection. If you began at Calliope World Headquarters in Tulsa and radiated outward, hipsters would grow increasingly earnest and humorless … Continued

Rant on Demand

The Rant has a new bestie: The Criterion Channel. Movie lovers have known Criterion for years as they produced high-end DVD and Blu-Ray editions of films loaded with extras and beautiful art work. They also own Janus Films, which holds … Continued

Rant Omnibus

The Rant has to attend to a personal matter before we begin: Hey old man with the knee brace jogging across the street. Those shorts are wildly inappropriate; obscene even. We’ve seen less skin from a Vegas chorus girl. And … Continued

The Rant Artist

The Rant has a new favorite in the celebrity profile category: thousands of words and a portfolio of pictures all centered around the theme of a celebrity declaring he hates all the attention and doesn’t care what you, the voracious … Continued


The Rant occasionally likes to hunker down with the Cartoon Network and watch the Amazing World of Gumball. This program does not appear during the more gonzo Adult Swim on the CN, but rather exists for the kiddies. How this … Continued