The Rant decided to play an Olympic drinking game. Every time an announcer said Quad God, coined for figure skater Ilia Malinin’s quadtacular jumping ability, and easily the most rapidly overused sports nickname of all time, The Rant downed four … Continued
A very belated happy new year from The Rant. We wanted to be sure and break all of our resolutions so we could focus on you, dear readers. Actually that’s a lie; The Rant resolved to not resolve. Think of … Continued
Slim Tinsel remembers around day six of Rantmas as we trembled, locked in our tiny garrett, down to our last few sheets of vellum while subsisting on a meager diet of absinthe and Haribo gummy bears. Slim won’t lie: we … Continued
What happened to You? Slim Tinsel hears the whispers. Perhaps this will help illuminate our dark recesses: When Slim was wee, we would load up the car and head to our grandparents in Logan, Kansas, population 700, give or take … Continued
“Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Browniest.”—A Charlie Brown Christmas Slim Tinsel understands. You’re out there trying to maintain that holiday cheer while haunted by the never-ending doubt that you missed an online coupon that … Continued
Slim Tinsel is required by Internet Law to produce a holiday listicle. Otherwise Russian hackers flood your site with topless Putin photos and the Justice Department tries to photoshop your head into pictures with Jeffrey Espstein. This ain’t no garden … Continued
Slim Tinsel reckons (that’s how people named Slim talk) we should cleanse the palate here at the halfway point of Rantmas. So we offer you a narrative sorbet: an absolutely true tale from our childhood. My father and uncle ran … Continued
Slim Tinsel wishes to discuss the endless holiday treasures found online at The Bradford Exchange, but first we have to address the baby monkey in the room. To wit, the Bradford Exchange contains a disturbing number of baby monkeys. Those … Continued
The Rant has often proclaimed our appreciation for music all along the edges, from indie rock to Americana to D’Angelo, abs optional. The Rant can hang with almost any hipster music crowd. But when it comes to Christmas tunes, we … Continued
Slim Tinsel enjoys many things about the holidays, but chief among them is this: Vera-Ellen’s waist in White Christmas. Hypnotic. We can’t look away. Vera-Ellen in White Christmas Vera-Ellen gets lost in the golden age of Hollywood musicals of the 40s and … Continued