The Rant

Bracket Rant

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The Rant assumes that very soon coaches will be able to appeal plays on psychological grounds, since they can appeal everything else. Did you really believe you were going to make that 3-point shot? No, you were only try to … Continued

Rant for the Gold

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The Rant decided to play an Olympic drinking game. Every time an announcer said Quad God, coined for figure skater Ilia Malinin’s quadtacular jumping ability, and easily the most rapidly overused sports nickname of all time, The Rant downed four … Continued

Unresolved

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A very belated happy new year from The Rant. We wanted to be sure and break all of our resolutions so we could focus on you, dear readers. Actually that’s a lie; The Rant resolved to not resolve. Think of … Continued

Slim Tinsel Bids Farwell

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Slim Tinsel remembers around day six of Rantmas as we trembled, locked in our tiny garrett, down to our last few sheets of vellum while subsisting on a meager diet of absinthe and Haribo gummy bears. Slim won’t lie: we … Continued

Slim Tinsel Lights the Yule Log

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What happened to You? Slim Tinsel hears the whispers. Perhaps this will help illuminate our dark recesses: When Slim was wee, we would load up the car and head to our grandparents in Logan, Kansas, population 700, give or take … Continued

Slim Tinsel Viewing Guide

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“Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Browniest.”—A Charlie Brown Christmas Slim Tinsel understands. You’re out there trying to maintain that holiday cheer while haunted by the never-ending doubt that you missed an online coupon that … Continued

Slim Tinsel Gets Listy for Rantmas

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Slim Tinsel is required by Internet Law to produce a holiday listicle. Otherwise Russian hackers flood your site with topless Putin photos and the Justice Department tries to photoshop your head into pictures with Jeffrey Espstein. This ain’t no garden … Continued

Slim Tinsel Gets Nostalgic

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Slim Tinsel reckons (that’s how people named Slim talk) we should cleanse the palate here at the halfway point of Rantmas. So we offer you a narrative sorbet: an absolutely true tale from our childhood. My father and uncle ran … Continued

Slim Tinsel Goes Rantmas Shopping

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Slim Tinsel wishes to discuss the endless holiday treasures found online at The Bradford Exchange, but first we have to address the baby monkey in the room. To wit, the Bradford Exchange contains a disturbing number of baby monkeys. Those … Continued

Slim Tinsel Gets Square, Man

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The Rant has often proclaimed our appreciation for music all along the edges, from indie rock to Americana to D’Angelo, abs optional. The Rant can hang with almost any hipster music crowd. But when it comes to Christmas tunes, we … Continued