The Wednesday Pop Culture Rant, after much soul-searching, has decided to declare free agency. We will be taking our talents to the back porch. A bottle of Templeton Rye made us an offer we can’t refuse. Now, dry those eyes. We’ll be back and better than ever after the fall elections. The Rant simply can’t compete with the absurdity that is the presidential campaign. So we are going to relax, let the anger subside, let the madness play itself out and then come back rantier than ever. Or send you postcards from Canada. Still a bit up in the air.

The Rant directs you to the archives when you feel the need for a Rant pick-me-up, and when you feel really blue, call an OKC Thunder fan and commiserate over Kevin Durant. Or not. The Rant finds it hilarious that any OKC fan couldn’t see this day coming; just a decade ago the Seattle Supersonics, led by their dark overlord Clay Bennett, held Seattle hostage for a new, city-funded $500 million arena they knew would never be built, to bolt for OKC. Bennett colluded with David Stern to manipulate the entire exit, leaving one of the most dedicated fan bases in the NBA without a team. The Thunder have since hoovered in the cash from their tax-payer funded arena, from steadfastly refusing to go above the salary cap and pay the luxury tax, and from being the only pro franchise in Oklahoma.

Did you really believe the sports gods would allow Durant to stay or a championship to be won? Come on. They should have at least two rings by now, and only the amazing drafting and dealing of GM Sam Presti has kept them competitive. Witness the insurmountable 3-1 advantage against Golden State that evaporated as an unseen force directed a barrage of three-pointers to drop in Game 6.1 The Rant predicts a long, slow decline followed by Bennett finding some other sucker city to pay for a new arena. Then OKC and Seattle can become sister cities, trading their defunct jerseys as a token of friendship.

As for The Rant, as in all things basketball, we say win 11 rings like our man Bill Russell and get back to us. And be sure to coach one of those teams while you’re playing like Russell did.

Don’t worry about The Rant-shaped void in your life; Calliope will be running a new column about all the influences that shaped our pop culture minds. The Rant quietly retires to the porch for now. Templeton is a demanding taskmaster.

  1. The Rant points out that after a record-setting season and historic comeback against the Thunder, GSW went all hubris all the time, trash-talking LeBron and declaring themselves the Platonic basketball team. We saw how that turned out

Leave a Reply