The Wednesday Pop Culture Rant has arrived in Connecticut. Everyone in Connecticut wants to be in New York, and everyone from New York has a vague notion the rest of the country exists as a possibility, like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster; they’re still awaiting definitive proof and not grainy photos. The presence of The Rant has caused a rift in the East coast space/time continuum we find delightful. Come to terms with our reality, New England. Ontologically yours, The Rant.

The Rant offers these observations from the road. Pennsylvania is very, very proud of its turnpike. For that kind of money, we expect the ghost of Ben Franklin to chauffeur us about. Or at least an interesting Quaker. Skyline Chili, your 3-way is just fine, but Coney I-Lander out in Tulsa can hold its own, and don’t even pretend your coneys are competing. St. Louis remains one of the most underrated cities in America. Illinois has no business ever calling Kansas’s landscape boring. New York and New Jersey should post signs that say Free Skate instead of a speed limit. We think the Millennium Falcon passed us on the Tappan Zee Bridge.

The Rant must be brief, as we’re here to learn how to rant in a more profound and stylistic way. As you might imagine, that requires nearly all of The Rant’s meager resources. But we promise to emerge stronger and better than ever. Hopefully we’ll have enough cash left to make it back across Pennsylvania.

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