Magic Rant
The Rant would like to know why all World Cup soccer teams appear to have left their day jobs as male models. The Rant had a man crush on the entire Iranian team. Ronaldo is simply an angelic being sent … Continued
Author Archives: Shawn Crawford
Rant O’Plenty
The Rant remembers just thirty minutes ago with all the yammering heads declaring the death of the Cavs, and the passing of torches, and the wisdom of trading your entire team for Celtics coach Brad Stevens because he could take … Continued
The Rant Has No Name
The Rant prepares to attend the kick-off for U2’s latest world tour. We have seen U2 on many occasions. Once in Vegas, we watched the opening act Damian Marley employ a dude that did nothing but wave an enormous Jamaican … Continued
Readin’, Writin’, Rantin’
The Rant says: The Revolution will be spelled correctly, because here in Oklahoma, the teachers have walked. Fed up with ten years of the systematic gutting of public education by the state legislature, they finally said enough. How bad is … Continued
Almost Dialed In
I have no complaints about the breadth and quality of the Indie music scene: my cup runneth over. But lately, supporting the up and coming kids has become increasingly taxing. The logo for the International Indie Music Union should be … Continued
The Rant Goes Hard to the Cup
The Rant now feels convinced the Cavaliers could trade the entire team for the ghost of George Mikan, 75 year-old Globetrotter Curly Neal, an autographed Bill Russell jersey, and a case of Gatorade, and somehow LeBron James would still get … Continued
Ranter’s Block
The Rant has the dreaded block. We have written and erased enough words to fill a book, a very bad book, with a garish cover and an intro by a person you never heard of but gets paid to soldier … Continued
Last Rant to Brooklyn
The Rant welcomes you 2018. You follow 2017, which left your house trashed and empty except for the Roy Moore bumper sticker on the bathroom door and one naked light-bulb illuminating the sadness within. We believe in you 2018. Make … Continued
On the Twelfth Day of Rantmas
The Rant remembers around day six of Rantmas as we trembled, locked in our tiny garrett, down to our last few sheets of vellum while subsisting on a meager diet of absinthe and Haribo gummy bears. The Rant won’t lie: … Continued
On the Eleventh Day of Rantmas
The Rant now believes goodness flows from the heart like jazz. You improvise with the person or situation in front of you and create a tune of righteousness. Some days you find the groove and some days you just play … Continued