The Wednesday Pop Culture Rant has found no small delight in watching Republicans state the obvious immediately followed by a statement of sheer delusion in regards to their orange muppet presidential candidate, Trump the Grump.1 To wit: Trump makes a racist statement about the judge in his Trump University lawsuit,2followed by Ayn Rand groupie and Marie Antoinette acolyte Paul Ryan stepping to the podium to confirm the racist comment, but instead of swift condemnation we get a shrug and a, “but I’m still voting for him.” Somewhere Nixon is thinking, “My god, I could have been dictator for life in this bizzaro world.”

The Rant says, let’s embrace this madness for it contains at least a strange confession of just how horrible our system, and the people in it, have become. Yes, that was a reprehensible thing we just did; now here’s the next equally horrific action we have queued up. History would prove so much easier to study:

  • Of course we are engaged in the systematic genocide of indigenous peoples; now smallpox blankets for everyone

  • We love using religion to keep people enslaved; wait until women want to vote, and gay people want to get married, and anyone without a WWJD bracelet wants to go to the bathroom

  • I have no problem working a child until he dies early from exhaustion; now excuse me while I go beat up miners trying to form a union

The Rant boldly suggests we even enshrine such naked truth into legislation, so people state exactly what they mean, sans euphemism, and inform us of what’s coming next:

  • Voter ID laws keep people that don’t vote for us from voting at all; next week, our Pantone Color Wheel of Disenfranchisement. Learn the exact shades that exclude you from participating in democracy

  • I hate any government policy that doesn’t benefit me in a tangible way; now let’s starve some more poor people so I can enjoy my sweet subsidized fructose corn syrup and ethanol

  • I would rather scare the bejeezus out of my constituents than make any hard choices about governing; muslims! transgendered! marauding hordes of doctors that vaccinate our fetuses then abort them!

Af first glance, we might believe such policy would usher in a new era of responsibility and reasonable government. But The Rant wonders if the crowds would just cheer louder for Trump and cowards like Ryan would just keep shrugging.





  1. Apologies to you, Oscar. We know you would put the beat down on Trump with your trash can lid, sing a song about telling the truth, help Trump back up, and then knee cap him with the baseball bat you keep hidden in Big Bird’s nest.
  2. Trump University: Producing the same level of regret as attending a Nickelback concert, but with crippling debt included!

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