The Wednesday Pop Culture Rant says: let’s make some snap judgements about Berkeley! We’ve been here well nigh four hours which is less time than it takes for Stephen A. Smith to pretend he know the subconscious motivations of every NBA player.
Speaking of the Association, The Rant cruised by Oracle Arena on the train and looked wistfully towards Kevin Durant’s new home. The Rant has long suspected that the Silicon Valley boys that own the Warriors have been blathering on about what geniuses they were and how they had reinvented basketball with the use of numbers and computing alchemy to stab their long-suffering fans in the back. Which they have proceeded to do by announcing they are decamping for SF where only other white Silicon Valley boys can afford the seat licenses and tickets. Thanks for being the best fans for forty years while we sucked, Oakland.
The above picture is of the Airbnb where The Rant currently resides. The Divine Miss K that owns the place says she paid less than 20K for it in 1970. We have seen similar properties about town currently starting for $1.3 million. Perhaps she will sell it and buy a season ticket to the Warriors in upper deck when their new digs are finished.
But less describing and more judgin’: The Ran begins by saying we excuse any shortcomings found in Berkeley due to the fact that two enormous Redwoods reside outside our window, in the middle of town, on the lawn.
We can’t decide yet if we enjoy the contact high we receive as every third person that walks by us smells like an extra in a Cheech and Chong movie.
Just because you can afford Lululemon doesn’t mean you should wear yoga pants, Berkeley. We saw a grandpa last night with a Brooklyn hipster beard, sports coat and said pants. It took several pints of beer to recover.
On beer: we know you helped launch the craft movement California, but you didn’t invent the stuff. Your beer is good and occasionally great, whereas Tulsa’s beer is good and often great. You do the math.
The same goes for burgers. Our grass fed cattle could kick you grass fed cattle’s brisket. You need a little fat to make a transcendent burger.
Art everywhere. The best. Also, one of the most beautiful community gardens we have ever seen on Peralta. Faithful readers know The Rant seeks to fold 1,000 cranes this year. We added to the art scene by installing cranes at the Oakland Airport and the burger joint. Thanks to Rafael for allowing the Crane-in-Residence at Farm Burger.
Things we enjoy: Bernie and Hillary signs everywhere. Things we don’t enjoy: people so earnest about their Bernie and Hillary signs they don’t realize they live in paradise. Come on Berkeley. When you don’t laugh, the fascists win. We mean current administration. That’s what we meant.
The old people here are way cooler than the kids. We think that goes back to the Earnest Quotient, easily the highest of anywhere in America we have visited. The two kids currently discussing Brazil at the coffee shop make us long for a Marx Brothers movie stat.
The Rant will never be able to afford living in Berkeley, but we certainly would. We would start a foundation to help residents appreciate a pratfall and a running gag. Maybe we can build a treehouse in one of the Redwoods.
