Magic Rant

The Rant would like to know why all World Cup soccer teams appear to have left their day jobs as male models. The Rant had a man crush on the entire Iranian team. Ronaldo is simply an angelic being sent … Continued

Rant O’Plenty

The Rant remembers just thirty minutes ago with all the yammering heads declaring the death of the Cavs, and the passing of torches, and the wisdom of trading your entire team for Celtics coach Brad Stevens because he could take … Continued

The Rant Has No Name

The Rant prepares to attend the kick-off for U2’s latest world tour. We have seen U2 on many occasions. Once in Vegas, we watched the opening act Damian Marley employ a dude that did nothing but wave an enormous Jamaican … Continued

Readin’, Writin’, Rantin’

The Rant says: The Revolution will be spelled correctly, because here in Oklahoma, the teachers have walked. Fed up with ten years of the systematic gutting of public education by the state legislature, they finally said enough. How bad is … Continued

Almost Dialed In

I have no complaints about the breadth and quality of the Indie music scene: my cup runneth over. But lately, supporting the up and coming kids has become increasingly taxing. The logo for the International Indie Music Union should be … Continued

The Rant Goes Hard to the Cup

The Rant now feels convinced the Cavaliers could trade the entire team for the ghost of George Mikan, 75 year-old Globetrotter Curly Neal, an autographed Bill Russell jersey, and a case of Gatorade, and somehow LeBron James would still get … Continued

Ranter’s Block

The Rant has the dreaded block. We have written and erased enough words to fill a book, a very bad book, with a garish cover and an intro by a person you never heard of but gets paid to soldier … Continued

Last Rant to Brooklyn

The Rant welcomes you 2018. You follow 2017, which left your house trashed and empty except for the Roy Moore bumper sticker on the bathroom door and one naked light-bulb illuminating the sadness within. We believe in you 2018. Make … Continued

On the Twelfth Day of Rantmas

The Rant remembers around day six of Rantmas as we trembled, locked in our tiny garrett, down to our last few sheets of vellum while subsisting on a meager diet of absinthe and Haribo gummy bears. The Rant won’t lie: … Continued